Dish it out

Flipped on the satellite TV this morning to be presented with:

Unpacking Dish Linux
Please wait while the system is upgraded

This is on a Dish 721 PVR. The 721 is like a Tivo without ergonomics or user testing. Normally I kind of look forward to upgrades: bugs get fixed, new features added, usually a speed increase. But these Dish programmers are a scruffy, unreliable lot and that message fills me with dread. User interfaces can change from one day to the next, requiring us lowly users to re-program how we think and relearn muscle memory.

With my Mac or a Windows machine I am in control. I might decide to take updates the minute they are released or, based on work load or reports from early up-graders, I may skip it entirely. Web sites and user groups report on the update and any problems it might have, letting us make an informed choice when and how we upgrade. Although I hear Microsoft, in an attempt to defend the exposed juggler that is their operating system, may move to an automatic upgrade system as well.

With Dish, and maybe other PVRs, you are at their mercy. 99% of the time you don't even know there's been an upgrade, the system is upgraded (or degraded depending on one's perspective) in the wee hours. The next day things don't work the same, you press buttons harder, replace batteries, scratch a little bald spot on your head, cycle power, nothing helps.

Calling customer service is only for the bored or brave:

First call: slightly confused support person, spends a lot of time reading words out loud. Time passes, what seems like a pre-determined amount of time, and then "Ah, here's the problem. Wait 20 minutes for the system to get the update and you should be set. Goodbyeandthankyouforusingdishnetwork...*click*"

Second call: REALLY friendly support person, more verification, and...epiphany! "Here we go, it doesn't look like the other person did anything...I mean, they must have forgotten to press the button. It is SOOO GOOD of you to wait while I do this. Now don't worry, it's all fixed. Wait 20 minutes for the system to update, mkay? Anything else I can help you with today? No? Well goodbye and THANK YOU for using Dish Network!"

Third call: voice stress sensors at Dish Corporate Support Headquarters Central Switching have detected a rise in aggravation levels, the call is routed to a "third wave" support person. This is a Linux gal or guy, probably a programmer doing penance in the outer rings of support hell in order for a shot at writing system upgrades. Quick, terse, pragmatic: information is extracted, problem is fixed. There's no 20 minute delay.

This has happened every time I call. After reaching the third wave you realize that it is possible to get good support...from any company. What ARE those other support people for? Placebos? Is there a class of support calls that need to be pacified?

Maybe they've determined that some percentage of callers will have stupid/easy problems or give up after the first call, so why not stick a lower paid support person there? You can't have the caller jump to the "real" tier on the next call, that's too easy to figure out, no, instead you put in a damage control tier, someone that makes the caller feel all warm and fuzzy. Still cheap labor.

Finally there's tech support (everyone else is just "support"). A small, specialized, harried crowd that really doesn't want to hear your horror stories of the first two tiers. They need to resolve your problem, add it to their workflow sheet, and pray for the day when they get transported to engineering.

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