Friday May 2, 2003

"Ahem...excuse me?"

YES?

The boss asked that we report any bug found in the field.

OF COURSE HE DID. WHAT IS IT, ANOTHER AARDVARK THING?

Uh, no, I think they are doing fine but that's not really my department.

YES, YES, GO ON CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?

Yes, I noticed. Designing another creature, maybe a fungus? That is rather disgusting. What is it?

SWEET ROLL

Right, anyway, it's the model one. I know you are busy with model two...

WE ARE NOT TO SPEAK OF MODEL TWO.

Oh, right, of course. Sorry. Yes, well the model one has another defect, er, anamoly.

GET ON WITH IT

See, there's this spot on the back of the inner digit, thumb they call it, which when struck just so bleeds quite profusely.

HANDLED BY CLOTTING AND SCABBING, YES?

Yes, very ingenious. SP1 was a wonderful patch, even if the hair follicle update didn't seem to take.

AND...

Sorry, where was I...right, model one, thumb. The clotting and scabbing are all working as designed, it's just that this is a prominent and highly mobile area. Within a few minutes of patching it is open and gushing again. Really quite amazing given the small allocation of blood designated for the digit.

AND THE CUT?

The cut? I'm afraid I don't understand.

THE CUT. THE WOUND. SELF-INFLICTED? DECORATIVE? RITUALISTIC?

Uh, no.

SACRIFICIAL BLOOD LETTING?

No. Just an accident. Something to do with hand tools and fixing things. Although, heh heh, obviously not very good with either.

AN ACCIDENT?

Most likely deriving from SP1's random fallability module. I understand the concept but it sure hasn't made our jobs any easier.

TRY ENGINEERING

No thanks. I'm not a people person. Heh heh.

DID YOU FILE A BUG REPORT?

Well, since you guys are working on model...sorry...since you aren't working on model one I thought I'd just let you know so you can take it under advisement for, uh, you know...the future.

I'M NOT A DICTATING MACHINE, FILE THE BUG YOURSELF

What about the model one? Any chance for a random mutation or airborne modifier?

FOR A THUMB? GOODBYE

Hmm, thanks.

PRESSURE

Pressure?

APPLY PRESSURE

Thanks, but I think they have enough of that already.