Today was lawn tractor hell day. Actually it's been hell for a while. The tractor, or the scattered components of the tractor, have been strewn hither and yon across the garage floor for a week now. Meanwhile the grass is up to a foot in some places, the forest is encroaching, and dandelions rule again. I've made the requisite trips to the parts shop, loading up on gaskets, filters, and pinion gears. Today was implosion day.

Sure, taking things apart is grand fun, but remembering how they go back together after a week is something else. Plus you can barely recognize most of the parts. They are either new or look new after ten years of accumulated grease, dirt, and grass clippings are scrubbed off. Unfortunately, as part of the sacrificial art of mower repair, I am now covered in grease, dirt, grass.

Lasers. That's the next mower I get: electric propelled laser mower. Guided by satellite, solar powered, semi-sentient. It wakes up in the morning and starts lawn patrol. Dandelion? Ultraviolet sensors pick up on the light signature and the mower EATS the flower, digesting it to create more power. At the end of the week it backs up to the woods and poops out little compost piles of digested plant matter, heat treated so that none of the dandelion seeds survive.

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